548. A muggleborn made the mistake of bringing in Monopoly and teaching people how to play it. The game resulted in a traumatized giant squid, an utterly destroyed Herbology classroom, what the house elves call “The Great Boomy Poof and Roar”, and a blood feud between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff sixth years. The winner was Moaning Myrtle.
542. Muggleborns are horrified to learn that there are no digital downloads of their favorite wizard pop songs and begin to make digital recordings. The Ministry of Magic is tearing their hair out as these recordings make their way online, and muggles start discussing the meaning of “Do the Hippogriff”.
When you fuck something up first thing in the morning